tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post8762041147742456461..comments2024-03-15T03:13:04.099-04:00Comments on Unofficial Mom: Surrender or be terminatedsarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10407880075964040578noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-65280514786784516052010-06-19T19:27:35.701-04:002010-06-19T19:27:35.701-04:00Thank you Kayla. It's something I've had a...Thank you Kayla. It's something I've had a long time to think about with my niece and nephew. But my thoughts on it have crystalized since Pie's arrival.sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10407880075964040578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-87158067591343208152010-06-19T00:00:58.714-04:002010-06-19T00:00:58.714-04:00Love it...love her....even if she is not your &quo...Love it...love her....even if she is not your "real" daughter. As if! <br /><br />I don't think I have ever heard anyone speak of adoption like you. I very much enjoy the read.Kaylahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00760513237256488573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-34407449145884007812010-06-18T21:01:41.029-04:002010-06-18T21:01:41.029-04:00Thanks Alex and welcome!Thanks Alex and welcome!sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10407880075964040578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-18999137752218284582010-06-18T13:53:33.869-04:002010-06-18T13:53:33.869-04:00An *incredibly* fascinating article!
New follower...An *incredibly* fascinating article!<br /><br />New follower here from Follow Friday. Would love to welcome you to my place. Hope to hear from you soon.<br /><br />Lots of yummy love,<br />Alex aka Ma, What's For Dinner?<br />www.mawhats4dinner.comMa What's 4 dinnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15858828882933298085noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-77343934645172751622010-06-18T11:45:41.119-04:002010-06-18T11:45:41.119-04:00I Am - Thank you so much. I know I'm biased, b...I Am - Thank you so much. I know I'm biased, but I do really think she got all the best parts of all of her ethnicities. I appreciate your thoughts. I'm new to domestic adoption (my brother's kids were international) and VERY new to open adoption, so I'm learning as I go. And trying to be as aware of everyone as I can be. Right now we refer to Pie's birthparents by their first names, but as she gets older if she wants to have a more connected name for them I think that's a great option.sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10407880075964040578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-84867846420946069852010-06-18T09:40:43.091-04:002010-06-18T09:40:43.091-04:00First off, Pie is ridiculously cute! Wow. Seriousl...First off, Pie is ridiculously cute! Wow. Seriously. Wow.<br />As a first/ birth/ initial/ bio/ non-parenting/ relinquishing/ non/ former/ donating father I think the language used is less important than the message behind it. The above are the "positive" suggestions I've heard. I won't bother with the accusatory titles. I tend to use "first" and "birth" interchangeably and generally only use those two terms. The reason being that they both point to chronology as their basis and avoid any further definition of role. Unfortunately there isn't any good verbiage for families built through adoption.<br />A very good friend had an interesting solution that may work for some people. His parents divorced when he was 1. At 3 his mom remarried and she, with his new step-dad, had full custody and raised him. His dad was always his dad, but his step-dad did his rearing. So step-dad was given a special term, used just for him. "Poppy." Ever since he was three he had his mom, pop, dad, and step-mom (a term that reflects the brothers Grimm closeness of their relationship).I amhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13182867182942654599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-12282277188709158942010-06-17T21:03:47.646-04:002010-06-17T21:03:47.646-04:00Ally - What a sweet thing to say! I am indeed very...Ally - What a sweet thing to say! I am indeed very lucky to have my Pie. <br /><br />That cracked me up too, but doesn't it look like that's what she's thinking!?sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10407880075964040578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-4724729590214652972010-06-17T21:02:29.503-04:002010-06-17T21:02:29.503-04:00Ericka - Thank you! I'm always amazed at what ...Ericka - Thank you! I'm always amazed at what people will say. I just want to shake them...hard...and for an extended period.sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10407880075964040578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-36143835916323894642010-06-17T20:46:08.133-04:002010-06-17T20:46:08.133-04:00You are such a fair and loving person, I love read...You are such a fair and loving person, I love reading your posts. Pie is so lucky to have you and you her of course.<br /><br />This picture is so cute. Sorry but I had to laugh at your "What up my peeps?" above her little face. Ha ha! Too cute!Allyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06076912971009055017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-51035408407804672462010-06-17T18:20:46.440-04:002010-06-17T18:20:46.440-04:00the semantics in this situation is interesting and...the semantics in this situation is interesting and i can understand some confusion/discomfort with it. but for anyone to suggest that your daughter is not your "real" daughter just blows my mind. some people just don't think and it's a real shame. <br /><br />and your daughter is gorgeous!ericka @ alabaster cowhttp://alabastercow.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-63905204373668030372010-06-17T16:20:44.650-04:002010-06-17T16:20:44.650-04:00Angela - Our relationship with Pie's birthpare...Angela - Our relationship with Pie's birthparents is complicated but certainly easier than many I've heard about. All four of us are very laid back and easy-going so that certainly helps things!sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10407880075964040578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-37801216464876280382010-06-17T16:19:19.397-04:002010-06-17T16:19:19.397-04:00CR - We are hoping to have a sibling for Pie...how...CR - We are hoping to have a sibling for Pie...how do you feel about living in GA? :) And thank you for your sweet comment!sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10407880075964040578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-46973351110237935112010-06-17T15:28:04.570-04:002010-06-17T15:28:04.570-04:00She is REAL cute! I'm glad you are open about ...She is REAL cute! I'm glad you are open about it. I have friends that adopted both of their children due to infertility and we've talked extensively about it. It is very fascinating to me...all the procedures and language and such. <br />I have to admit, I didn't know anything about it before talking with them and being ignorant to the topic makes you form opinions based on what you "usually" see in an adoptive situation. But we have to remember not ALL situations play out like that. It's a wonderful thing! I'm glad you have such a great relationship with her birth parents.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04150283138684160483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-59819167949593464712010-06-17T15:16:05.930-04:002010-06-17T15:16:05.930-04:00i second tiffany. YOU GO GIRL!
you are your real p...i second tiffany. YOU GO GIRL!<br />you are your real parents! and she is your real daughter!! i hate it when people make assumptions about adoptions and especially in thinking that the parents would have less of a bond with the child!!<br />plus your sweet little baby is the cutest EVER! i want to hang out on a swing all day.. where are my adoption papers?? haha.chelsea rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07848191706307359977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-4128627203653488332010-06-17T12:16:49.101-04:002010-06-17T12:16:49.101-04:00The Mommy - I still can't imagine what they we...The Mommy - I still can't imagine what they went/are going through. It seems like the ultimate impossible decision. <br /><br />Funny story about the swing...when Pie was a about a month old and in the throws of colic, Husband called me and said "If you don't come home with a swing...don't come home!" It was funnny, but you better believe I came home with a swing. And it's been Pie's favorite place ever since!sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10407880075964040578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-79382677467862071072010-06-17T12:14:57.629-04:002010-06-17T12:14:57.629-04:00Georgina - I can imagine that being really frustra...Georgina - I can imagine that being really frustrating too. I'm just shocked that so many people still don't recognize that the mom + dad + bio kids family is radpidly becoming the exception instead of the rule. Families are so diverse and complicated now...people need to catch up!sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10407880075964040578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-63450014449816536512010-06-17T12:12:46.076-04:002010-06-17T12:12:46.076-04:00Thanks you K!Thanks you K!sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10407880075964040578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-91302145966739428192010-06-17T12:12:27.893-04:002010-06-17T12:12:27.893-04:00Marcy - I admit I do want you to have more kids......Marcy - I admit I do want you to have more kids...but only because I love-a da bebehs! But I don't care where they come from :)sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10407880075964040578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-65687184056536554172010-06-17T12:10:12.531-04:002010-06-17T12:10:12.531-04:00Thank you so much Tiffany - that made my day!!Thank you so much Tiffany - that made my day!!sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10407880075964040578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-72137946517228854912010-06-17T12:09:41.610-04:002010-06-17T12:09:41.610-04:00Bronzed - Pipe down! You get to look at Pie all da...Bronzed - Pipe down! You get to look at Pie all day long, do you really need pics of her on the internet too? Don't be greedy!sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10407880075964040578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-32872769511612732672010-06-17T12:08:46.931-04:002010-06-17T12:08:46.931-04:00Cris - No problem :) if you can't get your han...Cris - No problem :) if you can't get your hands on those supplies...I've got other options!sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10407880075964040578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-75309688116682756402010-06-17T11:11:22.498-04:002010-06-17T11:11:22.498-04:00Gosh, I can't even start to imagine how it mus...Gosh, I can't even start to imagine how it must be for the birth parent....yeah no, I can't. I'm wordless.<br />On a lighter note, I love that swing, isn't it a life saver, my twins were literally raised in it!!The Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02685805606873396273noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-27273619449309493202010-06-17T10:28:10.543-04:002010-06-17T10:28:10.543-04:00Wow, she is so beautiful!
Thank you for sharing t...Wow, she is so beautiful! <br />Thank you for sharing this experience with us. You are absolutely right about how language is so important. Although it is somewhat different, being a stepmom meant hearing people carelessly use words to subtly remind me of my so-called lowered status as a stepmom. I kept a blog on my SM experience for about a year and I met many other SM's who also felt stigmatized by language and legal issues. Society seems to have a strong bios towards biological parents over non-bio parents and guardians whether they are adoptive parents or step parents. - GAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-34601081367367806532010-06-17T10:27:49.699-04:002010-06-17T10:27:49.699-04:00YOUR daughter is super cuteness.YOUR daughter is super cuteness.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2434048414705097907.post-37967082336203622962010-06-17T09:43:04.870-04:002010-06-17T09:43:04.870-04:00I couldnt agree more..It used to drive me crazy wh...I couldnt agree more..It used to drive me crazy when people would ask me "if I was going to have kids of my own as well" Ummm WTH are these??? Last time i checked that little one is calling me Dad and im feeding ,caring and loving them!! when people ask how many kids I have I say 2, not 2 adopted kids. there is no difference to me. They are my children end of story! Thanks for the tip on the toothbrush.. I think I can make that work :)Marchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10669216776419863676noreply@blogger.com