November 7, 2010

Monday Minute 11/8

And here's Monday Minute with Christy.

Questions:
(1) What's for dinner tonight?
Well on Sunday, we had a really late lunch with my parents. We went to a local burger/beer place called Lucky's. I had a black bean burger. It was yummy.

(2) Have you ever been stung by a bee or a wasp?
I was stung by a bee when I was about 10, maybe 11. Thinking about it now I don't remember it being too bad. Although I'm sure if I were stung now I'd bitch up a wicked storm.

(3) What time do you go to sleep every evening?
It varies, but generally way too late. Depending on what we're trying to get done after Pie goes to sleep, anywhere from about 10:30pm to 1:30am. Makes the alarm going off at 5:00am lots of fun.

(4) What's your favorite ice cream flavor?
Hmmm. That would be a toss up. I love good vanilla, cookie dough or coffee chip. Now I want ice cream...

(5) If you could have one power, what would it be?
Does anyone remember the show Out of This World? The girl on the show was half alien (of course) and could stop and start time at will. There's probably not a day that goes by when I don't think of another way that would be awesome. You know, after reading that through I think that's probably one of those things you don't say to anyone. Whatever...it would be awesome.

November 5, 2010

TRDC: Dump Your Junk

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We're borrowing this week's Red Writing Hood prompt from NaNoWriMo Prompts, a blog dedicated solely to National Novel Writing Month.


Here's your prompt:

"Your protagonist empties the contents of his/her pockets, purse, and/or backpack onto a table. What all was dumped onto the table?"


But, we're going to ask for more than a list of contents...this is merely a jumping off point.


THE RESULT:

"There! That's everything in my pockets. Are you happy now!?" The spittle converging at the corners of Chuck's mouth as he ranted was not doing him any favors. He already looked completely disheveled and he had a liquor stink-bubble surrounding anything within five feet of him.

Anna, breathing through her mouth, watched impassively as one of his nickles rolled off the kitchen table and landed at her feet. She was mildly amused by the fact that it landed head's up. Tonight was apparently full those.

Her first head's up had come hours earlier. She was just settling in to watch some of her DVR shows, the ones that Chuck hated, when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Anna, this is Gary...from Chuck's office?"

"Hi Gary, how are"

"I really didn't want to get involved here, but someone needed to tell you. He's being so blatant about it"

"Gary, what are you talking about?"

"Chuck. He's at Ride 'Em Stallion and he seems to be getting a lot of attention from one dancer in particular. I don't know how to say this but...they um...well, they went to the back room."

Anna had been raised to be polite at all costs. So despite the fact that she wanted to cry, scream and throw up all at once, she graciously thanked Gary for telling her and gently hung up the phone.

Hours passed without any recognition. Anna simply sat at the kitchen table, clutching a long gone cold cup of tea and stared. She would occasionally think, "I knew this was coming" or "I've ignored so many things, maybe I should let this go to." She had been leaning that way, in fact, until Chuck stumbled in reeking of booze and boobs.

She demanded, in a completely steady voice, to know where he had been. She couldn't believe how calm she sounded. Of course he made up some ridiculous story about wooing a new client. And again, in the calmest tone possible, she asked where he had been. She further explained that while wooing a client was something that men did on occasion, it was very infrequently the temps who did the wooing.

Chuck had been out of work for months, and had only just started working as a temp at a software company in town. There was little chance that he would move up or be hired permanently, but it was a least some money in the door. And given the fact that most of his day was spent filing or fetching coffee, there was little chance he would be asked to woo a new client.

The apparent slight to his manhood, to his ability to provide for the family, was the breaking point. Chuck reached into his pockets, threw the contents onto the table and yelled, "There! That's everything in my pockets. Are you happy now!? Maybe you can Dr. Seuss where I was!"

Clearly he had meant some combination of Dr. Watson and Sherlock, but Anna didn't bother to correct him. She was mesmerized by the contents of his pockets. They were spread on the table like a museum exhibit. There were all the things you would expect; a wallet, change, keys, and a cell phone. But there were also some very odd items too. There was a broken cigarette, a suspicious amount of dollar bills, a book of matches from the Ride 'Em Stallion, and a drugstore receipt. And every piece of it was covered in flakes of tobacco. It looked like a tiny tornado had ripped through Chuck's pocket leaving everything shrouded with debris.

She paused a moment over the broken cigarette, Chuck didn't smoke, he never had. That was curious. And then the receipt caught her attention. On the back in a bubbly 'I dot my I's with hearts' kind of hand was the name Vixen, a phone number, and a kiss in garish, red lipstick. Anna dropped the receipt as if it had burned her, as if it would burn when she peed just from having touched it. It fluttered to the table and landed face up.

3 Items Were Purchased, it said. As Anna scanned upward she saw Pringles (even cheating scumbags need a snack), mouthwash (to get rid of the Pringles breath she assumed), and at the top of the list, in black and white, Trojan Magnums. She grabbed the receipt to make sure she had seen that right, chancing the additional penicillin she would no doubt need from the extra contact. And a heartbeat later she was snorting, then giggling, then all out, hunched over howling in laughter.

That was not the reaction Chuck had been expecting as he paced nervously watching her sort through the contents of his pockets. "What? What are you laughing at?" he timidly demanded.

Anna, gulping for breath finally managed, "Of all the things I thought were horrible about this situation...you thinking you need Trojan Magnums is by far the most tragic."



November 4, 2010

The Paper Mama 2010 Holiday Card Challenge

The Paper Mama

So apparently it's just a Paper Mama kind of day!

This is a quick card I threw together. We're actually having some pictures done this week for Christmas, so we'll see if I come up with anything else once those are in hand. In the meantime...




The Paper Mama Photo Challenge: Halloween!

The Paper Mama

This weeks guest judge:
Tia from: Christopher and Tia.
This weeks challenge: "Halloween"
The challenge: The challenge will be based around your children. Take or find a photo of your baby (or kid... or puppy... or kitty) in their Halloween costumes. OR, if you don't celebrate Halloween... a photo of what you did on October 31st. :D

So here you go...more ladybug...

* Photo edited with Paper Mama's Pacific NW Blend Action. So awesome...and free! Thanks Chelsey!!


November 3, 2010

Wordless Wednesday {ladybug}





November 2, 2010

And that's when the guy started showing up...

After the first terrifying incident, there were several others equally more and less terrifying. We had doors open and close, cabinets slam, objects move. We heard conversations that seemed as if they were in the next room. We would hear distinct voices, but could never quite make out what they were saying. And we sort of got used to it all.

One night after we had perhaps a bit too much to drink (ignore that mom...I never did anything of the sort) we came home and laid down some ground rules. We told the ghosts (we had determined that there was a man and a woman and after some asking around made the assumption that it was the original owners of the house) that the following rules must be adhered to strictly:
  1. There would be no writing messages in the steam on the bathroom mirror
  2. They were not allowed in the bathroom if we were in there
  3. They were not allowed in our rooms if we were changing
  4. And they were not, under any circumstances, to appear to us.

We fell into a fairly easy rhythm with our ghosty pals and they stuck to all the rules...as far as we know. We apparently didn't lay down any rules about their treatment of our friends and family though. Both a friend and Middle Sister saw a gentleman in the house and described him exactly the same without either of them knowing about the others encounter.

They were also excellent judges of character. If someone was in the house that they didn't like, they would begin slamming a particular door between the living room and hallway in earnest. They were never wrong.

The roommate and I got so used the the ghosts being around that they were just a fixture in the house. We would play games with them. There was a vase on our dining room table that they loved to move. We would walk through the room and it would be at the edge of the table, we'd move it back to the middle, come back through the room and it would be at the edge again. Good times.

Other than the first encounter, there was only one other time that I was truly afraid. Shortly before I moved out I was in the house alone. I was sitting on the couch reading and all of a sudden the cabinets in the kitchen started slamming out and closed and I heard a woman's screaming. The screaming got louder and louder and closer and closer until it was directly behind me. I turned to look (force of habit I guess), of course nothing was there, I started screaming back and ran out of the house. I didn't go back for a couple of days.

As a side crazy note, within minutes of me running out of the house Big Sister called and left a message on the machine saying that she felt like something was wrong and was I okay.

There were lots of other odd and crazy things, but that's main stuff. Though our friendship, well mine at least, with the ghosts ended when our house was robbed and they did nothing to stop it. Seems like that would have been an ideal time to pop up and make some noise...

November 1, 2010

If I didn't make that noise, and you didn't make that noise...

...then who did?

I kept thinking I would post about this, but then I would forget (shocking). Halloween is the perfect time to tell this story though. I'll preface this story by saying that until it happened to me, I was a total non-believer...
In college I lived in a haunted house. Not just an occasional noise, haunted house, but a full-fledged noises, conversations, things moving, people appearing haunted house. My roommate and I moved into a very old house just minutes away from campus. It was two bedrooms, one bath with a living room, dining room and kitchen. One of our first nights in the house I was just falling asleep (I hadn't even unpacked yet...just a mattress on the floor and my alarm clock were out, everything else was still in boxes). That's when I heard the footsteps.
I went completely still and listened. The footsteps started in the back of the house, in the kitchen, walked into the dining room, through the living room and stopped right at my open door. I couldn't believe someone had broken into the house and was mere feet away. I thought about what to do, then decided I would grab my alarm clock, flip over and wing it at the head of whoever was there. I counted to three, grabbed the alarm, flipped, and then...well then I sat there staring at an empty door.
Just as I thought I must have dozed off and dreamt the footsteps they turned around, walked back through the living room, back though the dining room and back into the kitchen. I was stunned for about half a heartbeat, then I started screaming and ran into my roommates room. I slept in her room for about two weeks...I was wicked freaked out.
Part two of the craziness tomorrow...