I'm blog swapping with Ericka at Alabaster Cow. Her site is hilarious and honest and if you aren't following her I don't think we can be friends anymore...I'm just kidding...but seriously I'm not. Go follow her now!
when i was ten my dad left me at church.
you'd think that was a real punch in the gut especially after having to listen to a sermon that involved cartoons in no way, shape or form but in all honesty, it didn't bother me. my dad is lucky if he remembers to wear pants. thank god my mom does a quick double check before he leaves the house.
when my friends' parents yelled out "hey mel, think you forgot something!", he patted at his shirt and pants and when he retrieved his keys, he scrunched his face in a "you guys! my keys are right here you silly bunch!" kind of way. and then he saw me, standing by the pillar with the penny. the penny was encased in mortar between the bricks in the pillar. i used to scratch at lincoln's face wondering how long it would take me to pocket the coin and then...well, i never really got that far in my penny fantasy. i was too concerned with the worry knotting my intestines at the fact that my dad was doing his own version of ditching a flaming bag of poo on a doorstep except the doorstep was church and the poo was me.
my dad and i are cool now. i mean he's like one of my best buds and all.but i've made sure to mention his abandonment plenty of times since then.
"do you want another pork chop?" "i dunno, you going to leave me at church again?"
"a d?? on your math test??" "i'm sorry but i started reliving that time you left me at church and i panicked."
"hey jeopardy's on." "what is you left me at church?"
it's been a pretty decent go-to joke in my repertoire and i've had no complaints. i think i've done a great job sending my dad on a major guilt trip and for that i've been pretty proud of myself. that is, until i gave birth to this:
now the joke's on me.
Ericka kills me every time she writes. Her posts are always funny or insightful or filled with the raw honesty most of us don't have the stones to put out there. Plus look at the gorgeous little lovie! I am beyond proud to be swapping with her and even more so that she thought I was worthy of it.