August 2, 2010

Open Adoption Roundtable #18

Remember, you don't have to be participating in the OAR to comment. I'm always interested to hear what you smarty-pants have to say. If you're interested in how other people are responding, click here for more participants.

Question:
We each interacted with at least one professional during the adoption process (agency, lawyer, facilitator, consultant, hospital social worker, etc.). What was one thing that they did that was most supportive of open adoption? What one thing was least supportive?

Answer:
As an adoptive parent I think it's unusual to come across negativity from the professionals involved. It's such a joyous experience from the adoptive families' perspective, and that joy tends to encompass those around you. I was amazed and overwhelmed by the hospital staff when my daughter was born. I was in the delivery room, and the nurses and doctors were fantastic. They were all so excited for us. And I'd like to think they were equally as sensitive to the birth parents. They were all very aware that while it was a day we had been dreaming of, it was also a day that the birth parents were struggling to find their footing during.

The only thing we came across was surprise. Most of the hospital staff, and our attorney, were surprised at how open the adoption was, and how laid back we all were about it. More than once, someone commented to my husband or I that they couldn't believe how much contact we had with the birth parents. And that they would be too nervous to have things be so open.

Going into the situation I thought we might encounter people who would be less than supportive because we are in the south and my daughter is multi-racial, but no one seemed to care. I think the absolute joy radiating from my husband and I blinded everyone we came in contact with to anything other than the love pouring from us.


9 comments:

-K said...

Wow, such a great response. I love you lady!

sara said...

Right back at ya K!

Jessica said...

wow. as a new reader to your blog, i wasn't aware that you had adopted, and i think that its wonderful everything was so open and comfortable for you!

sara said...

Jessica - I'm not sure I'd say totally comfortable :) but it's better than most!

Kayla said...

I just have to say I luv ya and your multi-racial baby! She makes me ;-)!

sara said...

Kayla - The feeling is mutual about you and my favorite little Potato!

Fakey said...

Hubby and I have discussed adoption a few times, and were we to do that, open adoption would be the most desirable route. When we've mentioned this to other people, they are horrified. They cannot imagine that a woman who experiences an unwanted pregnancy could be sane enough to include, however minimally, in the child's life. I am surprised at the common assumption that women who place their children for adoption don't want or deserve to know anything about their child's life. That those children are better off not knowing anything about their first/biological families.

Deep thoughts over. Back to daydreaming about cute babies...

sara said...

Fakey - Well said. I've always thought, especially in our situation, that Pie's birthmother took care of her the best she could during the pregnancy and is continuing to do so by placing her for adoption. She loves Pie enough to know that she just wasn't in the right place for children yet. Just because she isn't raising Pie, doesn't mean she doesn't still love her.

Michelle Pixie said...

What a wonderful thing! Hubby and I have started to think about adoption. I would love to have another baby, I just can't go through another pregnancy. You are a true hero!

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