Okay, so forgive my weird raspy-ness and the shaky camera work. My little helper was making it ever so slighty difficult to focus. :)
Decal by Janey Mac.
Love Makes a Family print by Barking Bird Art.
March 9, 2011
March 8, 2011
OAR - Adoption and the Media
It's time for another Open Adoption Roundtable. I love these. It's fascinating to be able to see these issues from so many different sides....adoptive parents, first parents, adoptees, and people not currently involved in adoption, but curious.
As with all of these prompts you don't have to be involved to comment or ask questions. To see more answers, click over to Production, Not Reproduction's site here.
Question:
How have you seen open adoption portrayed on television? What did you think? What, if anything, would you like to see?
Answer:
The timing of this prompt is so funny. This exact issue has been the topic of conversation in my house over the last week or so. We're always on the lookout for anything (tv, movies, books) that deals positively with adoption. Much of what you see portrayed involves international adoption, so that distances it from our situation and us/our daughter being able to totally relate. I am surprised given the frequency of adoption that it isn't a bigger part of the stories that media tells.
Recently there was a Modern Family episode that had a storyline about adoption, Despicable Me also has an adoption story, but how sad is it that I could only come up with two examples off the top of my head? The reason it's been a topic of discussion lately is because a book store near my office is closing. I want to take advantage of their sales so I started looking for adoption books to read to my daughter. And I was floored at what I found.
Other than the fact that the majority of the books were about international adoption, none of the domestic adoption books I came across dealt with open adoption. That was surprising enough but the sinner/saint mentality in the books made my mouth drop open. I just couldn't believe how negatively birth/first families were represented. Again and again I came across books that were saying the child needed love, needed a family, with the implication that the birth/firsts couldn't provide it. And then hooray, the adoptive parents swooped in and gave the child everything they ever wanted or needed.
With each summary I read, my anger grew. I would never, never, NEVER, read a story like that to my daughter. Other than the fact that it is a completely false scenario in our case, and in so many others, why would you want to demonize a child's family under any scenario? To portray the first family as the villains and the adoptive family as the heroes is so destructive to everyone involved.
My daughter's birth parents are not evil or thoughtless. They are not unwilling or unable to love her. And to present them that way, especially in a children's book, is at a minimum offensive, but more accurately is uneducated, unsympathetic and damaging. Neither should we, as the adoptive parents, be presented as the saviors, the saints, the heroes. It's absurd. We did not save my daughter from anything. We are also nowhere near saints or heroes.
We are simply people who are raising our daughter. One of the things that happens to make her unique is that she has two sets of parents. Two. She has two mothers who worry about her. She has two fathers who want to protect her. She has FOUR parents who love her more than the world and for the media, in any form, to miss that mark over and over again is beyond disappointing.
As with all of these prompts you don't have to be involved to comment or ask questions. To see more answers, click over to Production, Not Reproduction's site here.
Question:
How have you seen open adoption portrayed on television? What did you think? What, if anything, would you like to see?
Answer:
The timing of this prompt is so funny. This exact issue has been the topic of conversation in my house over the last week or so. We're always on the lookout for anything (tv, movies, books) that deals positively with adoption. Much of what you see portrayed involves international adoption, so that distances it from our situation and us/our daughter being able to totally relate. I am surprised given the frequency of adoption that it isn't a bigger part of the stories that media tells.
Recently there was a Modern Family episode that had a storyline about adoption, Despicable Me also has an adoption story, but how sad is it that I could only come up with two examples off the top of my head? The reason it's been a topic of discussion lately is because a book store near my office is closing. I want to take advantage of their sales so I started looking for adoption books to read to my daughter. And I was floored at what I found.
Other than the fact that the majority of the books were about international adoption, none of the domestic adoption books I came across dealt with open adoption. That was surprising enough but the sinner/saint mentality in the books made my mouth drop open. I just couldn't believe how negatively birth/first families were represented. Again and again I came across books that were saying the child needed love, needed a family, with the implication that the birth/firsts couldn't provide it. And then hooray, the adoptive parents swooped in and gave the child everything they ever wanted or needed.
With each summary I read, my anger grew. I would never, never, NEVER, read a story like that to my daughter. Other than the fact that it is a completely false scenario in our case, and in so many others, why would you want to demonize a child's family under any scenario? To portray the first family as the villains and the adoptive family as the heroes is so destructive to everyone involved.
My daughter's birth parents are not evil or thoughtless. They are not unwilling or unable to love her. And to present them that way, especially in a children's book, is at a minimum offensive, but more accurately is uneducated, unsympathetic and damaging. Neither should we, as the adoptive parents, be presented as the saviors, the saints, the heroes. It's absurd. We did not save my daughter from anything. We are also nowhere near saints or heroes.
We are simply people who are raising our daughter. One of the things that happens to make her unique is that she has two sets of parents. Two. She has two mothers who worry about her. She has two fathers who want to protect her. She has FOUR parents who love her more than the world and for the media, in any form, to miss that mark over and over again is beyond disappointing.
March 7, 2011
because I want to...
This meme was running around last week and I thought it was really interesting. I love seeing people's handwriting. So I jumped in too.
My handwriting has changed so many times over the years, from girly and bubbly to scratchy and illegible. I've been told that my handwriting is like an architect, like a doctor, like an artist, and like chicken scratch. Heh. You can be your own judge.
I sat down to answer the question (listed below) with my favorite Moleskine notebook and my beloved Sharpie pen....
...and if you look on the left page you can see where I started the questions and didn't like the way it looked. I may or may not have done that 3ish times :) but here's the end result (click to enlarge).
My handwriting has changed so many times over the years, from girly and bubbly to scratchy and illegible. I've been told that my handwriting is like an architect, like a doctor, like an artist, and like chicken scratch. Heh. You can be your own judge.
I sat down to answer the question (listed below) with my favorite Moleskine notebook and my beloved Sharpie pen....
...and if you look on the left page you can see where I started the questions and didn't like the way it looked. I may or may not have done that 3ish times :) but here's the end result (click to enlarge).
1. your name & your blog name.
2. your blog url.
3. write: "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog!"
4. your favorite quote.
5. your favorite song.
6. favorite musical artist/band.
7. say something... anything.
8. tag some people to do this.
2. your blog url.
3. write: "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog!"
4. your favorite quote.
5. your favorite song.
6. favorite musical artist/band.
7. say something... anything.
8. tag some people to do this.
If you decide to participate, I'd love to see so let me know. And if you want to see some other examples check out: Amy, Mandey, and Megan.
March 4, 2011
TRDC - Water
Water gives life. It also takes it away.
Write a short piece - fiction or non-fiction - inspired by one or both of these statements.
Word maximum is 600.
Result:
This was all that damn Jessie Spano's fault. Maggie had been minding her own business flipping through the channels when she came across Showgirls on HBO. Like any red-blooded American who grew up in the 80s and 90s she had to stop and watch the fallen Saved By The Bell alumna get her groove on. And by groove of course she meant completely unsexy, totally rhythm-less, pole swinging.
She had only intended to watch for a second, but of course, 30 minutes later she had yet to change the channel. Ben must have heard her laughing and wandered in from his office to see what was up. It was the pool scene. He immediately joined her and they sat watching what had to be the single worst sex scene ever put on film. As the movie continued Ben got a look on his face. A look Maggie knew all too well.
"You know," he said, "we have a pool. We could recreate that scene. Wink wink. But totally as a goof. How funny would that be?!"
And so they had. Hair flinging, head banging, water flying and all. Maggie was positive they had never laughed so hard. But she wasn't laughing now. Just over 38 weeks later and she was covered in an entirely different kind of water. The kind that breaks. And she was not having nearly as much fun.
Ben had been certain that you couldn't get pregnant in a pool. Something he had heard a million years ago in health class about the sperm not being able to survive in the chlorine. Clearly that was not true. She would kill him once this was over. The fact that she had chosen to believe him and had done her level best to reenact the pool scene perfectly had nothing to do with this current predicament. It had clearly been his fault.
The nurse came in to check her again and made the dreaded announcement. It was time to push. The room got ready and Maggie started pushing. She may or may not have yelled out, "Damn you Jessie!" at one point. The nurses looked to Ben and told him not to worry, women in labor often yelled out things to their partners they didn't mean. Much to their confusion, and his delight, he informed them that his name was Ben and not, in fact, Jessie. They stopped talking to him after that.
What felt like an eternity of pushing later, the room went completely silent and then there was a wail to rival Mariah Carey. Their little girl was finally here. The doctor cleaned her up a bit and placed her on Maggie's chest. She was the most beautiful thing Maggie had ever seen. Ben leaned over his girls and had never felt such love and joy. He whispered in Maggie's ear, "You were amazing. I love you."
"I love you too," Maggie said, dreamily looking back to her sweet girl, "So what are we going to name her?"
"Jessie?"
March 3, 2011
Pay It Forward Handmade Style
I came across this awesome crafty goodness at Lindsey's blog this is my life and now I'm passing it along!
Here's how it works:
• Be one of the first five people to comment on this post
• You will receive something handmade from me within the next few months
• Post about Pay it Forward on your blog/social media site of choice, and send something handmade to the first five people who comment on your post before 2011 is over. Keep the craftiness going!
• You can send anything, big or small, it just must be handmade.
I will definitely be doing a follow-up post when I get my handmade prize from Lindsey. I hope you guys do too! Let's get our craft on!!
March 2, 2011
March 1, 2011
A forgotten family member.
I realized recently that there is a family member that I have never talked about before. I feel badly that you guys don't know about him. Who is that mystery man in the shadows?
It's Professor Fuzzy-Bits, guard cat extraordinaire. Husband and I got him on our honeymoon (best week ever) and he's been protecting us ever since. He's not letting anyone sneak past.
Just look at the concentration in those eyes. He is laser-focused at all times. He needs very little rest. Even less food. And he's completely content with a few pats from Pie. And she's happy to hand those out. Prof. Fuzzy-Bits has been captivating her attention lately. I can't blame her. Can you? Just look at that face...
It's Professor Fuzzy-Bits, guard cat extraordinaire. Husband and I got him on our honeymoon (best week ever) and he's been protecting us ever since. He's not letting anyone sneak past.Just look at the concentration in those eyes. He is laser-focused at all times. He needs very little rest. Even less food. And he's completely content with a few pats from Pie. And she's happy to hand those out. Prof. Fuzzy-Bits has been captivating her attention lately. I can't blame her. Can you? Just look at that face...
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