April 6, 2010

220... 221, whatever it takes

My husband is Mr. Mom. This is equally incredible and shattering.

He is staying home with our daughter while I go to work. He is being allowed the opportunity to bond with her like far too few fathers are afforded. It is overwhelmingly sweet to watch them together. She loves her daddy and the feeling is beyond mutual.

It is also overwhelmingly heartbreaking to watch them together. She has a clear preference for him. I know it is not personal, it is merely an extension of the fact that she spends so much time with him. That does not make the knife to my heart any less sharp. When I was little I did not dream about my wedding, I did not plan some high-power career. All I wanted was to have babies and stay home to raise them. I am the anti-feminist. Barefoot and pregnant sounded blissful to me.

The reality is that my husband is in school and not working full-time because of his class schedule. The reality is I make more money. Babies are expensive. Houses are expensive. Someone needs to make the money to pay for these things. It is me for right now. He has said to me that it feels like he is living my dream. He likes to tack on that if I could add a beach house and a Ferrari into my dream he would appreciate it greatly.

Things will change. He will get a wonderful job and perhaps then I can have my turn at home. There will be a time when girl things happen and my daughter will prefer me over her dad. I just have to hoard the smiles and snuggles I get now until that day comes.


Marc said...

HAHAAHAHAHAAH I wonder how many people will get the title? umm Ferrari? your hubby is smart!

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