June 15, 2010

Adoption schsmoption

Adoption has been on my mind a lot lately. I've been reading about it, worrying about it, dreaming about it, and thinking about it sort of incessantly.

I've been reading about it on all kinds of new adoption blogs I've come across. One that I fell in love with is Production, Not Reproduction. It's funny, well written, and full of resources. I'm a little overwhelmed by it. And suddenly feel like I need to use my evil blogging power for good.

I've been worrying about it because we are still waiting for our finalization date. Right now it's scheduled for about a month from now, but we've already been bumped from the docket once, so I'm just crossing my fingers. The whole situation still feels like a dream to me. I know that I am Pie's mom, but it doesn't feel concrete. It doesn't feel unshakable.

I've been dreaming about it in the last week or so. I had a lovely dream that Pie's birthparents came to visit her and told us that they were expecting again. That they were still in the same situation and wanted us to take that baby as well. Of course we were thrilled. Having a sibling for Pie would be beyond fantastic.

Ever since the dream I've been thinking about it non stop. I don't know that it will happen. It's greatly unlikely from Pie's birthparents. After her birth, her birthmother took long-term birthcontrol steps. Pie fell into our lap and was beyond a surprise. I can't see lightening like that striking twice.

It's such an odd and amazing situation to be in. Even after 5 months (plus the 7 weeks we knew beforehand) I still haven't found my footing.


21 comments:

crisc23 said...

I think everything will work out for you and I'll def be thinking of you. I hope they keep your date, I hate when I look forward to something and then it changes. Just keep w/ positive thinking and it will all fall into place =)

sara said...

Thanks Cris! I need that positive thinking reminder evrey once in a while :)

-K said...

I'm cross my fingers and toes, and my babe's fingers and toes, I tried the cat but he got angry.

sara said...

K - the last thing you want is an angry cat. Maybe if you got him all cat-nipped up he's let you?

lindsey said...

{smiles}
I know everything will work out for you guys. Pie is so lucky to have you as a momma!

Mommy's Sippy Cup said...

Oh girl. I'm saying a silent prayer to every God out there for you :) You can do it. Hang in there! Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

sara said...

Thank you Lindsey. I'm lucky to have Pie as a daughter...that word still gets me :)

sara said...

MSC - I'm hanging... usually hanging onto my sanity by a thread...but hanging :)

Sadako said...

Hope all works out for you! Hugs!

I am said...

The wait for finalization is a clear example of the malleability of space/time! Never does anything drag on so long, nor conclude so quickly. As for your dream, coming from a first-father, the very notion of going through everything again makes me queezy. Sometimes a dream is also a nightmare.
Still, glad to have found you! I look forward to seeing more of your story.

sara said...

Thanks you Sadako!

sara said...

I Am - That's a perfect way to describe it. Our birthparents have said essentially the same thing. Neither can imagine going through the process again.

Marc said...

I did it twice.. :)

sara said...

Marc - Very true. And well worth it!

Brandi said...

I'm still getting caught up... will definitely keep you guys in my thoughts. It certainly must be nerve racking to say the least to get the date moved. Hang in there. :)

Cindy @ This Adventure, Our Life said...

I will be thinking about you :) I would be the same way Sara (as I can not imagine how you must feel!)... I hope that day comes soon when everything is final. I always feel so odd when I have a dream and can not get over the content. When Bailey was small I had this really graphic and scary dream, it took weeks to realize I was okay and she was okay. I will be praying for the peace and comfort to come to you :)

chelsea rebecca said...

i will definitely be keeping you in my thoughts! hope that everything works out!
xo

sara said...

Brandi - The quick and dirty version is that we are adopting Pie from people we knew before the pregnancy so it is a VERY open adoption. We've had her since birth and are just waiting for the finalization.

sara said...

Thanks you Cindy :) It doesn't happen often, but every once in awhile a dream will just stick with me like glue. This was definitely one of those...maybe because it's also wishful thinking :)

sara said...

Thanks you CR! We can use all the positive thinking we can get!!

The Drama Mama said...

It will happen. I'm excited for you!! THanks for stopping by my blog today!

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