June 16, 2010

All in the family

Some of you clever, and no doubt attractive people may have noticed that one of my more frequent commenters is a gentleman named Marc. He's my big brother. Hi Marcy! That's Marc-ee, not Mar-see for anyone wondering. I'm not generally in the habit of calling my brother by a girls' name. Surely you can't be serious. I am serious. And stop calling me Shirley!

But I digress...my brother has two children. They are adopted. Both are Vietnamese. He opened our family up to adoption. Before I even knew there were fertility issues, I was interested in adoption after seeing my brother's experience. His path through adoption has been both similar and really different than mine.

With both children he was aware of them for several months prior to taking custody of them. He had pictures, and if I remember correctly a video of my niece playing with some toys. He had to wait, and wait, and wait, and jump through unbelievable legal hoops to complete both of his international adoptions. All the while having only a picture or two to look at of these children that would become his.

My niece and nephew are the first grandchildren for my parents. They are the first children among the siblings. Period. They have never been the adopted children, followed by the biological children. They simply ARE my brother's children. That paved the way for my little Pie. She is the sixth grandchild for my parents and the sixth child among the siblings. Period.

My brother's children have always known they were adopted. It has always been an open part of their lives. No big deal, just part of their path. Obviously this was slightly more necessary with them since these two smartie pies would probably have started to wonder why they appeared to be Asian and my brother is a good Irish/English boy. We intend to have the same approach with Pie. We already talk to her about being adopted. The baby version anyway. And we will continue to add info to that story as she gets older. She is adopted. Period. She has brown hair. Period. It is a fact of her life.

Another point of difference with my brother's adoptions is the family contact. They have some information about my niece's birthmother, but nothing about her birthfather. They know nothing at all about my nephew's birthfamily. We know, and have known, Pie's birthparents for a bit. They will be a part of her life. It is an odd course to navigate.

I'm not sure there is any point here...just some things on my mind...

UPDATED: Had to double check with my brother first about putting the pics up...but wanted to share with you my gorgeous niece and nephew.

24 comments:

Leah said...

your niece and nephew are GORGEOUS! I love adoption stories!!! love love love. It warms my heart so much. I heard an interview with Barbra Walters about how she told her daughter that she was adopted. She said "some babies are born out of their mom's bellys, you were born out of my heart." Isn't that the best thing ever????

Marc said...

Look at those beautiful children!!! Oh wait they are mine :) Thanks for the sweet story.

sara said...

Leah - I love them too! And that Barbara Walter's comment is very close to what my brother told his kids when they were younger...and basically what we're telling Pie now. It's so very true!

sara said...

Marc - beautiful indeed...and very lucky to have such a great dad! I made the mistake of telling Pie you were close by last night and she got very angry with me. Better plan on having that snuggle Saturday!

-K said...

His kiddos are gorgeous! Right on!

sara said...

Thanks K. I think so too...not that I'm biased at all!

Anne - Mommy Has to Work said...

They are beautiful.

Thanks for following. I'm now following- sorry it took so long.

Anne
http://mommyhastowork.com
http://mommysreviewsandmore.blogspot.com

sara said...

Thanks Anne! And no problem...after all you have to work, right?! :)

lindsey said...

Wonderful story. Your lucky to come from such a loving family :)

sara said...

Lindsey - I love that family doesn't even bat an eyelash, Husband's family on the other hand...the adoption was/is a first and not all of them are totally sure how they feel about it.

The Mommy said...

Gorgeous children, I'm sure all of you are proud of them as a family!!
BTW, I have an award waiting for you at my blog. Come and grab it because you deserve it:)

sara said...

We definitely are The Mommy. And THANKS!!!

sara said...

The Mommy - I went to look and didn't see it. Did see the awesome photo edit though!

Finley and Oliver said...

Your niece and nephew are absolutely stunning!! I have a soft spot in my heart for adoption as three of my nieces and one of my nephews were adopted from China. I couldn't imagine our family without them. Thank for sharing your family with us :)

Sara said...

Oh my gosh - they're stunning!! Gorgeous children. I love how open you and your brother are with your children about their adoption. Such a wonderful example!

The Mommy said...

Sorry about that, I had pulled it down for editing and if you went at that time you probably didn't see it. Visit now! It's live and running!
BTW, I'm also your newest follower!!

Ally said...

I'm oddly jealous that your brother reads your blog. Mine may have read like one entry total, if that... My husband doesn't even read my stuff.

Anyway, these children are beautiful. Stunning, really. I love adoption stories. I truly do. Many of our close friends were adopted as children.

FourthGradeNothing.com

Marc said...

Thanks everyone for the nice comments about my little ones. I think they are very special too!!!

sara said...

F&O - Congrats to you too! Not that I'm biased at all about adoption :) but I always feel a certain connectedness to other familes who have adopted.

sara said...

Sara - Thanks you! I think we've all heard horror stories about adoptions gone wrong, or kept secret. We've all just felt like adoption is just a different route to the same end. We've had children added to our family through adoption, through IVF, through old-fashioned means (wink, wink) and the end result is that they are all simply family. So that's how we have always handeled adoption...it's just the way you became a part of the family.

sara said...

The Mommy - I'm going to get it now...so exciting!

sara said...

Ally - Husband and my brother are followers number 1 and 2. For awhile they were the ONLY followers. :)

sara said...

Marcy - of course people said nice things. How could they not?! Those lovies are GORGEOUS!!!

Ma What's 4 dinner said...

Look at those beauties! I'm so interested in adoption. As the mother of 3 boys, I'm itching for a girl but not interested in being preggo again at all!!! We're thinking about adopting. I'll have to talk to you more about it!

Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma, What's For Dinner
www.mawhats4dinner.com

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