Some of you clever, and no doubt attractive people may have noticed that one of my more frequent commenters is a gentleman named Marc. He's my big brother. Hi Marcy! That's Marc-ee, not Mar-see for anyone wondering. I'm not generally in the habit of calling my brother by a girls' name. Surely you can't be serious. I am serious. And stop calling me Shirley!
But I digress...my brother has two children. They are adopted. Both are Vietnamese. He opened our family up to adoption. Before I even knew there were fertility issues, I was interested in adoption after seeing my brother's experience. His path through adoption has been both similar and really different than mine.
With both children he was aware of them for several months prior to taking custody of them. He had pictures, and if I remember correctly a video of my niece playing with some toys. He had to wait, and wait, and wait, and jump through unbelievable legal hoops to complete both of his international adoptions. All the while having only a picture or two to look at of these children that would become his.
My niece and nephew are the first grandchildren for my parents. They are the first children among the siblings. Period. They have never been the adopted children, followed by the biological children. They simply ARE my brother's children. That paved the way for my little Pie. She is the sixth grandchild for my parents and the sixth child among the siblings. Period.
My brother's children have always known they were adopted. It has always been an open part of their lives. No big deal, just part of their path. Obviously this was slightly more necessary with them since these two smartie pies would probably have started to wonder why they appeared to be Asian and my brother is a good Irish/English boy. We intend to have the same approach with Pie. We already talk to her about being adopted. The baby version anyway. And we will continue to add info to that story as she gets older. She is adopted. Period. She has brown hair. Period. It is a fact of her life.
Another point of difference with my brother's adoptions is the family contact. They have some information about my niece's birthmother, but nothing about her birthfather. They know nothing at all about my nephew's birthfamily. We know, and have known, Pie's birthparents for a bit. They will be a part of her life. It is an odd course to navigate.
I'm not sure there is any point here...just some things on my mind...
UPDATED: Had to double check with my brother first about putting the pics up...but wanted to share with you my gorgeous niece and nephew.