Unofficial Mom: There are two sides to every story...

October 27, 2010

There are two sides to every story...

I'm going to link up with Shell at Things I Can't Say for a little pouring out of my heart again.

...and then there's the truth. That little gem is from Paul Sr. on American Choppers (Can you tell Husband has been controlling the remote recently?) On its face it sounds a little absurd, but it has merit.

I tend to be pretty black and white about things. There is the truth and there is falsehood. Period. But I am currently in a situation where I would swear up and down that I am right and seeing things truthfully. I am certain that the other people involved would say the same thing.

It has been really difficult. Really upsetting. Really disappointing.

I have tried to be as aware and considerate as possible to this group of people. I like to think that I'm like that with everyone. I pride myself on being thoughtful. But it's come to my attention that this group of people has been talking sh*t about me. They are saying I'm thoughtless and inconsiderate.

I'm honestly heartbroken about it. I can't seem to shake it. I can't stop thinking about it.

So what do you do? How do you deal with a situation when you both think you are right and the other party is in the wrong? How do you move on when it feels like someone is attacking you as a person, the core of who you are?

Comments (11)

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Crisc · 752 weeks ago

I'm a Detroiter so my advice might be different then most...get ready for it

F*ck them Momma and keep doin what you doin cause YOU are a GREAT person (got chills when I said that)
Misery loves company and for some reason others get off on makin others feel bad. At least they say your name =) Take it as a compliment and tell em to kiss your ass..if all else fails tell me who they are and I'll fix them for you =)

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

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Sara 90p · 752 weeks ago

Woo hoo Detroit! I was born in Royal Oak, lived in Southfield/Lathrup Village...

I might take you up on the offer. I'm not my usual self with this one. And thank you for all the sweetness.

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finally Mom · 752 weeks ago

WTF? I'm sorry, but I'm really astounded to read that some are saying you're thoughtless and inconsiderate. Um, yeah right! It's hard to say for sure what to do w/out knowing all circumstances, but at the very least I'd distance myself greatly. And if they're not family, I'd probably cut them loose to be honest. Wow...wow!! Unreal. ::hugs::

1 reply · active 752 weeks ago

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Sara 90p · 752 weeks ago

Unfortunately I can't cut them out entirely, but I think you're right. There's going to have to be a great increase in the distance.

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Brandi · 752 weeks ago

Girl, I'm in a similar situation with my FIL. He believes something about my hubby that is completely not true. It pisses me off to no end. My first instinct is to call him up and tell them how effing stupid he is or maybe even out his stupidity on my blog (and I almost did it too), but instead I'm just praying on this one. I know the truth and I know that's all that matters... but I'm still pissed knowing that he's dead wrong about something and won't just admit that he's wrong. Asshole.

There, I've countered your problem with a problem. Helpful, no? HAHA! Just hang in there girl. I'd say distancing yourself from these people would be good.

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Sara 90p · 752 weeks ago

I hate that for you. And it's extra frustrating with in-laws! I always hoped I'd have great in-laws and instead ended up with a MIL that hates me and takes pretty much every opportunity she gets to tell me. I did the unthinkable and "stole" her only child away :)

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Shell · 752 weeks ago

How hard this is! I try to move past it and let it go. Because I know that I can't convince the others that I'm right. Much as it hurts, I try to move past it.

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Whit · 752 weeks ago

My mother always told me to "kill 'em with kindness'. It sounds like this might be a good scenario to do just that. Prove them wrong! Show them how kind & caring you are! Show them your thoughtfulness. It'll lump those coals on their heads and not on yours!

And after a little while, if that doesn't work - - MOVE ON! Life's too short to dwell over people who don't understand you!

Good luck! :)

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--K · 752 weeks ago

I try to laugh and remind myself that feelings are like opinions and those can't be argued which makes me angrier then I think of one of my favorite quotes "Never argue with a fool he might be doing the same thing." and then I sigh, count to ten and go hug my family.

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Erin · 752 weeks ago

I agree with Whit - it's great to kill them with kindness (and it makes them squirm, which is also fun). It might not be the way you want to respond, but it will prove them wrong, even if they never see it. And then - Screw Em! We don't have enogh time in this life to worry about the few people who make our lives hell. If the kindness doesn't help, ignore her, walk away if she starts being evil, and I personally like to tell people that I graduated from High School 20 years ago, but you appear to still be in it - grow up!

xo Erin

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amy_agoodlife 33p · 752 weeks ago

is it something you can agree to disagree about & just move on? having any sort of contention between someone & myself makes me so uncomfortable... i can't deal with it! it weighs on my hardcore. good luck :-/