Unofficial Mom: Well damn

February 8, 2011

Well damn

I don't know where it came from, but all of a sudden I'm completely certain of something. A disturbing something. I am old. I know, I know...it's shocking...but it's true. I present you with the following disheartening evidence:

Pie loves music. I mean LOVES it. So we listen to music a lot. Every once in a while I'll turn on VH1 and we'll watch videos since Pie also likes to dance and watch dancing. This weekend we watched for about an hour, and for every band/artist I knew, there were ten that I didn't. VH1 people...not even MTV...I mean what the hell are Sick Puppies?
I almost never, NEVER get carded anymore. Unless I'm at one of those 'we card everyone' places, people know I'm over 21.
I have fully crossed over into parental hypocrisy. I can say with a straight face, "I don't want Pie eating that crap" (which could apply to just about anything non-organic or junky) while I dominate a bag of Black and White trail Mix from Target. And of course by dominate I mean pick out all the chocolate/yogurt covered peanuts and raisins and leave everything else in the bag.
I am now only referred to as Ma'am by grocery store workers and Target staff. I never get a, "Hey, can I help you?" it's always a very respectful, "Hello ma'am, can I help you find something?" What? Are they afraid I'm going to break a hip or something?
I have a friend who is single and dating and when I hear about it, all I can think is, "Eh, thank god that's not me" or, "Those crazy kids and their interwebs dating, it's madness!"
The phrase. "I'm too old for this sh*t" is heard around our house on a daily basis.
Telling people that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up has crossed over from cute and ironic when I said it as a 20 year old, to being...well...incredibly sad at 33.
I make active decisions about things like chimney cleaning and termite control.
Conversations with friends are much more likely to be about baby poop than the hot guy who just moved in next door.
Speaking of hot dudes...I'm WAY more turned on by a guy who is an awesome dad, than one who has awesome buns. Now, if they have both attributes, I'm in heaven.

What about you guys? Anything lately that has driven home your age?

Comments (21)

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Swistle · 742 weeks ago

Never EVER getting carded, definitely. Also the way I dislike teenagers---I mean, not the fact that I dislike them (who DOESN'T?) but the MANNER in which I dislike them. Also the way I recognize fewer and fewer celebrities in my celebrity magazine, and many of them I recognize only because I read the magazine, and many of them I think, "Look at those little idiots trying to look sexy. What are they, TWELVE?"

Also, sometimes my KNEES hurt. Ack.

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

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Sara 90p · 742 weeks ago

Oh the teenagers...good one. I can't stand those jerks.

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Meg · 742 weeks ago

*sigh* If you're old, then that must mean I'm old, too. *double sigh* Anyway...I used to be called the "young girl" at work, but that doesn't happen anymore - maybe because the "young girl" now was born just before I went in high school? Adult conversations are almost *always* about our kids. What did we *ever* do before we had kids? What did we have to talk about?!

1 reply · active 742 weeks ago

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Sara 90p · 742 weeks ago

Me too! I was always the youngest, but now there are a couple of people younger.

I have no idea what we talked about before kids!

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finally Mom · 742 weeks ago

: ) yeah um, been feeling this way for quite some time... but it's OK. i finally just gave in to it and now it's not such a big deal that my hair if noticably gray, etc, etc.

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

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Sara 90p · 742 weeks ago

I found a gray eyebrow hair the other day and was horrified! I didn't even know how to respond :D

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Shell · 742 weeks ago

Never get carded here, either. I used to blame it on having my kids with me and figuring that they have to assume I'm old enough to drink if I have this brood. But, now, I don't get carded even if the kids aren't with me.

And um...before this sounds like I drag my kids all over gettting booze- I'm talking about putting a bottle of wine in with my groceries at the grocery store.

1 reply · active 742 weeks ago

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Sara · 742 weeks ago

Yeah yeah...you're totally boozin' it! :D

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leah · 742 weeks ago

girl I feel you! yes, i never get carded either. it makes me sad. I mean I get it, but humor me!
right now all my work friends are out to eat at a networking lunch for the 'youth' of the organization. it's for ppl under 30. i'm going to be 31 in less than 3 mos. i think i look younger than all of them, but hey that's just me.
I've started to use avon wrinkle cream. i mean it's called some kind of gold/saphire/diamond 'emolsion' but we all know what it is. i like to think of it as preventative, but i'm probably in denial.

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

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Sara · 742 weeks ago

The youth of the organization...that's brutal! I should probably get on that preventative plan...but it may be too late already. Heh.

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Katie · 742 weeks ago

I feel your pain. A couple years back I went to a dance show at a high school (a friend's little sister was in it) and I remember thinking that the rowdy kids in the back of the auditorium really needed to quiet down. Then it struck me that I was one of those rowdy kids. Course that was over a decade ago. Ugh.

1 reply · active 742 weeks ago

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Sara · 742 weeks ago

It's crazy...I still completely think I'm a lot younger than I am...

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adrienne · 742 weeks ago

Oh! I feel your pain! I've been thinking a lot about this too! I hate when the cute bag boys call me Ma'am!

1 reply · active 742 weeks ago

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Sara · 742 weeks ago

Isn't it the worst?! Especially terrible when you think they were being all smiley with you.

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amylee · 742 weeks ago

yes. my best friend's wife is six years younger than me... not a huge difference but it kind of is when i'm 28 and she's 22. we realized while on vacation that she was 15 years old when we all met in college (her husband, me, & my husband). i felt very old.

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

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Sara · 742 weeks ago

I have a friend who is 7 years younger and sometimes she'll say things when I graduated high school in 2001 or 2002 it's always so jarring! I was already married in 2001!

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shannon2818 53p · 742 weeks ago

I look a lot younger than I am, so I don't get much of the "ma'am" treatment. Sometimes it's frustrating though, because I feel that people assume that I'm incapable. Once, I was out with my mom and my kids, and my mother was mistaken for my kids' mom! Of course, that made her happy. I do have a few gray hairs though ... I like to think that means I'm getting wiser.

1 reply · active 742 weeks ago

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Sara · 742 weeks ago

Yes...wiser...I'll go with that theory too!

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Kayla 41p · 742 weeks ago

Well now that I will be dying my hair soon to fight away the gray hair I feel old. After each workout I go home and passout instead of being pumped full of energy...i feel older.

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Boobies · 741 weeks ago

Bwhahahahaa...I relate to ALL of the above!

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Jennifer · 741 weeks ago

Where to start? The most recent thing that made me feel old was being at a bar on Saturday night - ok wait, that alone makes me feel old since I don't go out to bars anymore - and being with a friend who didn't know the song that was on. I'm only 6 years older than her, but in music world, that's apparently pretty significant. You're halfway between us in age, so you may or may not know it - Erotic City by Prince. If you don't know it? Please don't tell me. I'll just feel old again. :)