July 14, 2011

Ian: The Daily Dose of Reality {Music. The Suck}

So today I have Ian from The Daily Dose of Reality for you. I'm sure most of you already know Ian, but if you don't, all you need to know is that Ian = awesome.

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First off, thank you to Sara for allowing me to fill your head with worthless knowledge. In today's edition, I explain why you and your pets should never listen to the Foo Fighters, Kiss, Rush, Nickelback, Creed, and Axl Rose. You may have read this before, but read it again.



Foo Fighters
David Grohl was the drummer of Nirvana prior to becoming the guitarist for the Foo Fighters. Nirvana is far from my favorite band in the world musically, lyrically or the like. However I do give them credit for staying true and playing the music they believed in. Their music is not necessarily something you will hear in the movies or on a commercial or on the MIX radio stations. People like their sound and they didn't bend over backwards for anyone. Now, Mr. Grohl is in a pop sounding band that sounds like pure shit stuck into a blender, pureed, stuck into a freezer, microwaved, and used for bug juice. I hate it, it's awful. Now there's nothing wrong with marketing yourself towards a particular target audience. There's nothing wrong with making some money. Isn't that what it's all about at the end of the day? But where you lost me my friend is that you sold your musical integrity to make a buck.


Kiss
Who in their right mind can call this piece of shit band a 'band'? They are nothing more than an act. A sideshow. Something that should be playing cruise ships and circuses. Their musical ability is suspect at best and their lead singer is the biggest jackoff in the word. 'Nuff said.


Rush
Point blank, their drummer, Neil Peart is not the best drummer in the world. How can you prove that when just about every god damn song they have put out sounds exactly the same?


Nickelback
Oh Nickelback. The Rebecca Black/Justin Bieber of rock music. That's really all that needs to be said about that.


Creed
See Nickelback


Axl Rose
I will give Axl some credit here. Appetite for Destruction's lyrics, for the most part were written by him. That album in particular is one of the greatest albums ever. In my top 5 for sure. But that's where it ends. His ridiculous lyrical rants on "One In A Million", which I will not repost here are just ridiculous. Beyond Appetite, his "issues" started getting out of control. If it wasn't beating and brutalizing his girlfriends, and wives, he was drawing up contracts to essentially take away royalties and ownership from all other original GNR bandmates. And what else? He put out the piece of shit Use Your Illusion set and went on to take a giant shit in the form of Chinese Democracy. And I hear that CD is the first is a trilogy of new albums. I wonder if the next one will actually make it out this decade.

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Ian is good people and I thank him very much for helping a sister out.