November 23, 2011

PYHO {Grieving and Loss}

Don't miss the chance to Pour Your Heart Out with Shell at Things I Can't Say.

Husband's maternal grandmother is dying. We are at the point where we are simply waiting for the call. She was sent home from the hospital this morning into hospice and isn't expected to last more than a few weeks...and that's being generous.

And it sucks. Really bad.

She is fighting cancer for the second time. The first time she was the victor. This time? Not so much. The cancer is winning and winning with a vengeance.

The world will be lesser without her. She is a feisty, irreverent, slightly crazy, completely wonderful nut. She is a surrogate grandmother for me, and I don't want to lose her. I lost my grandparents young, and didn't know them all that well since we live so far away. But this grandma, this one I know. I know her stories. I know her laugh. I know her stubborn, grumpy side. I know that she loves me and she loves Pie. And that Husband is her favorite.

But I know most of all that I can't anticipate the hurt of her actually being gone. The process of losing her is hard enough. It is heartbreaking and I am heartbroken.