August 28, 2012

The Anxiety Begins Again

I've talked about it before, and I'm sure I will again...

My sweet girl is having such a hard time with me being back in school. After a three month break, which included more than a month of not working thanks to all the Topomax stuff, I'm back in school.

I'm back in classes that don't get out until long after she's in bed. I'm back to needing every spare minute I have to complete the homework. And I'm back to working full-time. All of that equals one very unhappy girl.

She's waking up in the night to check that I'm home. She's having nightmares. She's ends up with us most nights. She's throwing tantrums. She's crying and calling out for me. She's a little barnacle on my side when I am home, and will say, "want mama" even as I'm holding her.

I just want to cry. She's having such a hard time and is having to spend so much time entertaining herself. I just want to play, and read, and craft, and color with her and I can't. All I can do is peek over the top of my laptop and watch her for a quick second. All I can do is tell her not quite yet when she asks if mama is done with the computer...when she lays her head against my arm and hopefully asks, "all done?"

What can I do? We're bothing hurting and I just don't know how to fix...or even if I can.