Stuff and what not...also FRIDAY!!

1) I have been lame this week...and lame + grumpy = no Red Dress Club Prompt. Boo me.

2) I'm joining the Mommy Madness hop today...I love finding new blogs!

MM is hosted Life with the Lebedas, Call Me Laura Jane and Crunchy Cupcakes

3) I haven't watched SNL in years, but my dad happen to catch this sketch last weekend. And I have to admit...it's pretty funny.

4) Hope you all have a safe and fun Halloween...and that the Great Pumpkin visits you :)

{source}

Grump-a-saurus Rex

Yeah...so it's been a little Debbie Downer here recently. I'm still a total grump so Pie thought she better take things into her own hands.

Mostly she just wanted to get a good look at you...

There are two sides to every story...

I'm going to link up with Shell at Things I Can't Say for a little pouring out of my heart again.

...and then there's the truth. That little gem is from Paul Sr. on American Choppers (Can you tell Husband has been controlling the remote recently?) On its face it sounds a little absurd, but it has merit.

I tend to be pretty black and white about things. There is the truth and there is falsehood. Period. But I am currently in a situation where I would swear up and down that I am right and seeing things truthfully. I am certain that the other people involved would say the same thing.

It has been really difficult. Really upsetting. Really disappointing.

I have tried to be as aware and considerate as possible to this group of people. I like to think that I'm like that with everyone. I pride myself on being thoughtful. But it's come to my attention that this group of people has been talking sh*t about me. They are saying I'm thoughtless and inconsiderate.

I'm honestly heartbroken about it. I can't seem to shake it. I can't stop thinking about it.

So what do you do? How do you deal with a situation when you both think you are right and the other party is in the wrong? How do you move on when it feels like someone is attacking you as a person, the core of who you are?

I need help...

Okay...so say, hypothetically of course, that you adopted a baby.

And say that you had an open adoption.

Also that you have a grapevine-y way to hear what's up with the bio parents.

Would you keep tabs?

Poll on right...

I knew they were cute but...

...I had no idea they were famous too. Check out the USWeekly Who Wore it Better article about Pie and Icie from Wife, Check. Mom, Check. Now What?

Longest week ever...

Now on to this week's prompts. That's right. I said prompts. Plural.
We're trying something new this week and giving you two choices. We are feeling crazy! Woohoo!
Ahem.

1. Describe your 80th birthday party.
2. If you could spend the afternoon with anyone who is no longer alive, who would it be and what would you do? (And yes, we mean someone who has died that you would want to spend a day with, not that you would spend the day with an actual dead person!)

Pick whichever you like. Combine them, if you want. You can also do it as fiction or non-fiction.

Result:
"Happy birthday dear Hattie, happy birthday to you!"

Hattie couldn't fault the motley group gathered around the rec room snack table. They certainly were enthusiastic, if not always in tune. That little twit, Chaz, from the front desk was a different story though. After he added, "and many moooore...heh...oops" to the song, she started plotting how to trip him with her cane.

Hattie wasn't particularly fond of birthdays, and this one was especially upsetting. At 80, she was the youngest in her group of peers at the Golden Acres Retirement Home (where you can spend your golden years on our golden acres). That should have made it easy to pick up George. George was the hubba-hubba hunk of the place, and at a spry 85 didn't look a day over 82.

Things had been going along swimmingly. And Hattie was sure George was about to ask her on a date, and possibly if he could be her escort for the birthday celebration. And that's when Adele started sniffing around. Adele, at 91, was the Golden Acres Cougar. She liked her men young and she liked them frequently if the staff gossip was to be believed. Hattie had no proof, but she was certain Adele was the cause of the recent outbreak of The Clap.

Hattie hated playing games, but she was starting to wonder if she could use Edmond to make George jealous. Edmond had spent at least 45 minutes of every day asking if anyone would be interested in his 'junk in a box' since that SNL sketch aired. That would be roughly 1,100 hours that he'd spent discussing his man business with his fellow residents.

*****

Yeah...so I totally lost the thread here. All I know is that I was headed for a 16 Candles moment with Hattie and George on the rec room table, but I have no idea how I'm getting there. Also I think Edmond may be an unnecessary character....

I blame the baby. Just look how pleased she is with herself.

Random random-ness

I'm going to hook up with the lovely Mandolin at {Mama} and the Dudes for her My Ink post.

I technically have two tattoos, though they are connected and look like one piece. When I was 17 my mom came with me to a sketchy little shop and lied about my age so I could ink up. I went in wanting a rather large Ying Yang that was made of fire and water. Something along these lines...

Really all I can say about that is thank god it was too expensive. Since my first choice was off the table, I blindly picked a design off the wall that I could afford. So I ended up with my little moon man. A year later I decided I HAD to add something to make it more personal. I returned to the sketchy shop and want to add a ring of stars around my ankle that matched the originals. This is what I got instead.

Holy crap...that looks terrible! Just ignore how old and beat up Moony looks!!

Anycraptat, it's bugged the crap out of me how dark and non-matching they are since the second I walked out of the shop, but whatev.

I was pissed but slowly began to forget about the tat all together. It would occasionally surprise me when I was shaving. Like oh yeah, that's still there. Many, many years later darling Husband decided to get a tattoo and wanted to get the sun. Other than the personal meaning for him, he also felt like we were the flip of each other's coin. He was heads, I was tails. He was the sun, and I was the moon. After that I started to see my tattoo differently...started to think it was pretty cool again. I still hate those stupid starts though...I need to get them fixed.

Now, on to upcoming ink. I am planning some Pie related something. I keep coming back to a carnation, but a really graphic, stylized one since it's her birth flower. Still haven't quite nailed that down or figured out where I want to put it. But I'm thinking it'll be pink and gray. Pink carnations mean a mother's love...so that works :)

And I want to get an oak tree. Oak trees are a symbol of good luck in fertility and I was born in Royal Oak so it feels full circle-y. I want to put it on my hip over my one ovary to wish the little guy some luck :) This one I want to be very feminine and simple. I've yet to see anything I like enough to put on myself permanently.

Any artists out there feel free to send me ideas for the carnation or the oak tree!

*****

Also I feel absolutely certain that there's a toy exec somewhere laughing his ass off that he actually got Squinkies past the board. There's *no way* this is not some new slang for the veg part of a boys meat and two veg. "Man, I was playing hoops and dude totally fouled. His knees caught me right in the squinkies." Even the theme song is all about the surprise you get once you "pop the bubble"...seriously? Please tell me I'm not the only one...any one...Bueller...Bueller.

One and done {subtitle: I'm greedy and ungrateful}

So I'm going to skip Wordless Wednesday today and link up with Shell at Things I Can't Say for a little pouring out of my heart.

Here it is...I'm greedy and possibly ungrateful. Despite having come from a big family, one where every person had to get their first helping before anyone could have seconds, I want more. I want my second helping now...and my third...and maybe even my fourth.

Pie is the greatest, most unexpected thing to ever happen in my life. She is lightening striking, a solar eclipse, Haley's comet. To say her appearance in our lives is a miracle, is an understatement. (For anyone who doesn't know the crazy story, you can read it here).

We had, only months before her arrival, started accepting that we would never have kids. We would have each other and that would be enough. We both wanted a big family, but that just wasn't in the cards for us. And then *BOOM* Pie shows up.

She makes me laugh and cry and go a little more crazy every single day. She is a gift like no other. I am more myself than I have ever been by being her mom. She is amazing. But...

But...I want more. I still want the big family, the house full of chaos and whirlwinds. I want more children. And that makes me feel like a greedy, ungrateful ass. Why can't I be happy with the miracle I have (not to say that I'm not). Maybe satisfied is a better word than happy. Why can't I feel settled and done. Why can't I wish for others who are still waiting for their first baby to have one first. Why must I wish for them to have one also.

Why do I feel compelled to figure out a way to approach a pregnant teen...
"Oh I see you like Cap'n Crunch. Me too. Crunchberries are the best. Soooo you keeping that baby? If not you can give it to me, we have so much in common...remember the Cap'n?!"

I still feel like I'm in the grip of childless desperation. Like, yes we have a child, but maybe somehow it's not for keeps. Like I need to grab all the babies I can or I'll still end up without any. I can't explain it.

I know that I need to stop worrying that Pie may be our one and done, and start celebrating that she is our holy shit we have a baby.

But how do I do that?

It's all still true...

...and holy cow do I need some uninterrupted sleep!!

*****Repost from 4.16.2010*****

You thought I was going to sleep, didn't you? HA! My wily ways have tricked you! You have mindlessly followed the breadcrumbs I have laid out. The red-rimmed eyes, the screaming for no discernible reason, the fact that it is, in actuality, my bedtime. FOOL! You think you have tricks, tools to put me to sleep, but I have counters for all of them!

• You snuggle me close, swaying and whispering sweet words to me. I will try to head-butt you. You may have noticed that I aim for the mouth and nose where I can inflict the most damage with the parts of my head that aren't still soft. (Note to self: when I do connect, words like "mutterflucker" and "holby schnit" are used. These words seem to have great power, must learn what they mean.)
• You sing me a lullaby and give me kisses on my head. I will fling my arms wildly. And God help you if I connect with your cheek or lips. I will tear them to shreds with my razor sharp, baby nails. (Note to self: again with the power words. Really must discover their meaning.)
• You take me through a series of positions, trying in vain to find the one that will sooth me. I will kick my legs violently. For me, it's a great ab workout. For you, it causes nothing but frustration. (Note to self: this maneuver usually ends with power words, an "I give up!", and a transfer to the other adult minder....how can I use this to my advantage?)

You can try and try your sad, little tricks, but I am a Nighttime Ninja! I can fight sleep better than Mike Tyson can fight Evander Holyfield! (Additional note to self: add ear biting to repertoire as soon as teeth come in...and I figure out which thing is the ear.)

*****

And follower who dipped out yesterday...what the FRENCH, toast?! You aren't going to find a cooler place to hang out. Heh. I kid, I kid.

Winner, check.

So a little while ago I won an amazing prize from the fantastic Emily at Wife, Check. Mom, Check. Now What? Just look at what I racked up!! Yeah, that's right...A sweater, 3 shirts, 3 pairs of leggings AND a dress! How jealous are you?

How adorable are the Halloween shirt and the little puppy dress?!
And seriously...a pie shirt for Pie? Could anything be cuter?!

If you don't know Emily you are missing out! She has:

1) A gorgeous little girl, Icie. Check.
2) A sweet husband, Dave. Check.
3) A wicked sense of humor. Check.
4) A big fan in me. Check.

Friday and whatnot

With the following prompt, from The Writer's Block: 786 Ideas to Jumpstart Your Imagination by Jason Rekulak, you can choose to write it as fiction OR as non-fiction.

"Think of a person you don't like, and describe what you might say if you had to share an elevator ride together. Then describe what happens when the elevator breaks down. For six hours."

Result:
It had been a long week. A really long week. And all Clarissa wanted was for the elevator to whisk her into the garage and to get the hell out of dodge. As she leaned against the cold, silver walls sighing with pleasure at the closing door a hand shot in.

The doors parted to reveal an out of breath Dick, from accounting. Dick was a little man, not just in stature, but in personality too. He was the last person on earth Clarissa wanted to share an elevator with, but it was only 10 floors right? Dick scurried into the elevator taking furtive, rodent like looks at Clarissa's cleavage, and brought with him the smell of his lunch. Clearly he had gone for stale coffee and dog crap...must have been today's cafeteria special.

The doors closed and Dick pushed the garage level button. It was already lit from Clarissa having pushed it, but you know girls, they can't do anything right. So clearly he had to push the button again. And thank god he did, otherwise she may have stood there all night wondering why the big, shiny box hadn't moved. The elevator finally started its descent and Dick mumbled something about weekend plans. Clarissa hadn't really heard him, and certainly didn't care, so she made a non-committal noise and continued watching the numbers on the elevator display count down.

Somewhere between floors eight and seven there was an odd crunching noise and the elevator rattled. Between five and four it happened again. Approaching the second floor it let out an ear splitting screech and came to a bone-jarring halt. This could not be happening. But it was. After a few frantic moments of pushing buttons, trying to get the emergency phone to work and attempting to find a signal on their respective cells Dick and Clarissa realized they were stuck.

Hour 1:
"So...DIck...what was that you were saying about your weekend plans?"
"I have a couple of neighborhood tennis matches. We pretty much always win. I'm really good. Not to mention I look great in the shorts. Huhhuhhuh."
"Ah, well, good luck with that."

Hour 2:
"Man, this really sucks huh Claris?"
"How observant of you. And it's Clarissa."

Hour 3:
"Hey Clarissa, if you get scared we can hold hands if you want."
"Yeah, I don't see that happening."
"Why not?"
"Because you don't wash your hands. Ever."

Hour 4:
"You know what, Dick, you are the single most annoying, ridiculous man I've ever had the misfortune of knowing."
"Yeah well it seems like all the rumors about you being a total bitch are true."

Hour 5:
"And another thing, Dick, grown men don't have urine stains on the front of their pants! They are capable of finishing the whole process and not pissing themselves."

Hour 6:
"Your parents nailed it when they named you Dick. I seriously hate you so much right now."
"Are you as turned on as I am?"
"Holy shit, I just threw up in my mouth a little."

**I wanted to come back and edit, but instead I'm exhausted. Sorry it's so rough...be gentle!

*****

NAME! THAT! ROLL! {Final Round}
First let's see the uncropped picture. You were all right it's Pie's chin...or chins as the case may be.
And now the moment you've all been waiting for...

The winner is... Jackie at The Mathey Family!!

Miss Jackie had an impressive 24 out of 25 points. Congrats Mama! (Jackie I couldn't find your email, so if you'll leave it in the comments then I'll get in touch to figure out the shipping details.)

Also, because you guys are so awesome I'll be sending a mini package to spots 2 (Her Momma at Finally Mom ) and 3 (Cris at Jus Keep Smiling). I'll be in touch with you ladies too!

I had so much fun playing this game, I hope you guys enjoyed it too!

Have a wonderful weekend everybody!!!

NAME! THAT! ROLL! {Final Round}

A little business before we start today, Round 4 was indeed Pie's chunky rolly wrist. Here's the uncropped picture (she was holding hands with her grammy). That one was hard!

And now... the Final Round!!!

For the newbies here's how to play: I will be posting a series of cropped pictures, each featuring a specific set of rolls. The first 5 people to guess the location of said roll correctly will be given points. The first person to guess correctly will get 5 points, the second will get 4, and so on. At the end of the series the player with the most points will receive a fabulous surprise package from me and Pie.

And the current standings:
19 Points - Jackie at The Mathey Family
8 Points – Cris at Jus Keep Smiling
7 Points - Her Momma at Finally Mom
5 Points - Christina at And for good measure…
4 Points - Yours Truly Dear at The Mundane Adventures of Miss Jess
4 Points – Kayla at and Potato Makes Three!
3 Points – Elise at Little Sprout Growing
2 Points - Angela at Life with Lane
2 Points - Emily at Wife, Check. Mom, Check. Now What?
2 Points – Ian at The Daily Dose of Reality
1 Point - Aims at The Mom Who Stayed Sober

And the new photo...this one souldn't be too bad...it's one of my favorite places to nibble...

Good luck everybody!!

Wordless Wednesday {Pumpkin}

* Pie's shirt is from the lovely and talented Grace at Finley and Oliver. I've had it awhile, but never have my camera handy when she's wearing it. Bad blogger. But I can't tell you how often I get stopped and complimented on it whenever it makes an appearance. Plus I love putting it on her because it's so different and super well made. Grace rocks!

I'm currently coveting this, and this, oh and this from her shop. Crap...this too. Check it out!

*****

Final round of NAME! THAT! ROLL! posting tomorrow at 8:00am and the winner will be announced Friday. Good luck everybody!!

Pie is still good after 9 months, right?

Yes, yes it is. Today my darling Pie is 9 months old. I have no idea at all how that happened. I demand that someone tell me how she went from this...

To this...

My Darling Girl,

It's been a busy month or two for you. You can do this now...

Which results in this being the most common view of you these days...

You love the crawling. I mean love it. You seem so entertained by being able to move yourself around without help. But it's already boring you. A couple weeks was enough of that, now let's try that walking business. You love to stand and wobble trying to find your center. And just this weekend you started pulling up on the furniture. Because I'm your mom (and a giant dork) it made me cry. I revel in each new task you accomplish, I am so proud of you. At that same time, if I'm being honest, every step you take away from your babyhood makes me sad. You are growing up so fast.

You eat like a champ. There is nothing you refuse. You love crazy things like mango and parsnips. Though table food seems a little confusing for you. Eggs are not the same a gum my love. You cannot chew them indefinitely. But give you a slice of lemon and watch out! You will strip it dry as quickly as your little hands can get it to your mouth. Not so much with lime or orange though. And you smelling like lime all day just makes daddy and I want margaritas so it's probably for the best that you don't like them.

You talk all. day. long. There are lots of "words" in with the babel. Mama, dada, baba, uh oh, ok. But I'm not counting any of them as your proper first word because you don't seem to associate the sounds with anything, or anyone, yet. You make yourself laugh a lot, which is maybe the greatest thing ever. And you like to whisper to yourself. It kills me.

And boy do you have a whole range of moods:

Annoyed...

Thoughtful...

Silly...

And of course we can't forget...hmmm...let's call it saucy..."Hello Gentlemen"

In all seriousness my sweet girl, you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. You make me laugh every single day. You make my heart melt. You make my eyes very, very droopy. You make me crazy. You make me more certain than ever that I was supposed to be a mom. That I was supposed to be your mom. I love you.

xoxo,

Mama

Monday Minute 10/11

And here's Monday Minute with Christy.

Questions:

(1) What color undies/ boxers do you have on right now?
Well I'm in my pjs at the moment so I'm going columbo (as middle sister says...heh)

(2) What song have you been playing on repeat lately?
Love love loving this song at the moment...


(3) What's your best personality trait?
Hmmm...I'll have to ask Husband. He says it's my thoughtfulness.

(4) Are you a leader or a follower?
Depends on the situation. I think there's a time to be each.

(5) What's your least favorite household chore?
Cleaning the shower. Hate that more than anything! So Husband and I have a deal. He cleans the shower and does the floor, I clean the rest of the bathroom. It works.

TRDC, NTR and FYF...hooray for abbreviations!!

1) The Red Dress Club...yeah so this week the prompt was non-fiction. I can't so much do the non-fiction. Also Pie has been a giant stink about sleeping lately so I just couldn't rally. I suck.

2) NAME! THAT! ROLL! {Round 4} is still going. I added another clue, and will continue the guessing. Last I looked we had 3 right answers...2 more spots! Keep those guesses coming!!

3) I'm jumping in on Fawk You Friday for the first time. This week seemed to have a bunch of things making me crazy.

Fawk you...job that I hate so much. You are sucking the very life out of me.

Fawk you...boss who decided I have too much vacation time and will be taking a week of it away next year. After working for him full-time for 11 years...yeah, you read that right...11 effin years. Plus another several more part-time.

Fawk you...scale for not showing me the numbers I want you to. And yes, it's totally the scale's fault and has nothing at all to do with the Halloween Kit Kats at my office.

Fawk you...Starbucks for coming up with this drink that I now want to swim in and make my best friend. Thank god it's seasonal.


Hope you all have an amazing Fall weekend. We're off to the pumpkin patch...so I'm sure there will be pictures next week!

The Paper Mama Photo Challenge: Confusion!.?!

I'm late to the party as usual...

This weeks guest judge: Me! (Ok, not really a guest, but I thought I'd judge the photo challenge this week!)

This weeks challenge: Confusion!.?!

The challenge: The challenge will be based around your children. Take or find a photo of your baby (or kid... or puppy... or kitty) confused, unsure.... just plain flabbergasted!

And here's my poor, confused Pie...

NAME! THAT! ROLL! {Round 4}

Here we go...round 4!

For the newbies here's how to play: I will be posting a series of cropped pictures, each featuring a specific set of rolls. The first 5 people to guess the location of said roll correctly will be given points. The first person to guess correctly will get 5 points, the second will get 4, and so on. At the end of the series the player with the most points will receive a fabulous surprise package from me and Pie.

And the current standings:
14 Points - Jackie at The Mathey Family
8 Points – Cris at Jus Keep Smiling
4 Points - Yours Truly Dear at The Mundane Adventures of Miss Jess
4 Points – Kayla at and Potato Makes Three!
3 Points - Her Momma at Finally Mom
3 Points – Elise at Little Sprout Growing
2 Points - Angela at Life with Lane
2 Points - Emily at Wife, Check. Mom, Check. Now What?
2 Points – Ian at The Daily Dose of Reality
2 Points - Christina at And for good measure…
1 Point - Aims at The Mom Who Stayed Sober

And the new photo...this one is a little tricky...

*****UPDATE****

Still don't have 5 correct answers yet. I knew this one would be tricky! Feel free to guess more than once. Since we're almost at the end of the game I'm going to let the guessing go until we have 5 right answers. If by 4:00 we still don't have them, I'll do another hint.

*****HINTS*****

Hint #1...we've done 1) shoulder, 2) back of knee, and 3) side/back. This is not any of those parts.

Hint #2...this set of rolls would be grouped into the upper half of the body. So it's not: lower back, bum, legs, ankles, feet or toes.

Hint #3...Pie has two sets of these rolls.

Hint #4...These rolls are somewhere between her shoulder adn her fingertips.